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8. Worried (Matt’s POV)
The second we landed in Santa Barbara, (our first stop in the tour) I called Morgan. I hope she’s okay at her apartment. I hope nothing bad happened. I just need her to be okay. That’s the only way that I’ll be okay. The second she answered I knew something was wrong. Her voice cracked on the first word she said. I need to come back home for her. She’s not safe. I can only imagine what else her mom did to her that she’s not telling me. When we hang up I text her right away.
"If you ever need me home, just tell me, I will come back."
"I’m really fine Matt. Thank you for caring." I love her so much. I really didn’t want to leave her for this long. I think I’m going to go crazy without her.
Carter and I get into our hotel and then get unpacked. While we’re unpacking, Carter asks, “Do you want to go to Nash and Cam’s room later? We’re just gonna hang out.”
"No thanks," Carter nods and then continues unpacking. To be honest, I don’t want to hang out with anyone. I’m not saying I don’t like the guys, they’re like my brothers. But, brothers get annoyed with each other lots of times. And I just don’t feel like being bombarded with questions about Morgan. I also don’t want to miss Morgan’s FaceTime or Snapchat tonight.
I take a pile of bracelets and then place them on my wrists.
"You don’t need to hide your scars from me Matt," Carter says sympathetically. Carter and Morgan were the only ones who knew about my my scars. I knew I didn’t have to hide them from Carter but, I just feel less insecure when I’m hiding them; even when I hide them from myself. Because I didn’t feel like talking, I just gave Carter a nod and then took the bracelets off and threw them on the desk in our hotel room. Then I take my red Obey hoodie and throw it over my head. Carter gives me a look that says, Are you kidding? I give a slight shrug and then plop on the bed, my phone at hand. I open up Instagram and check Morgan’s page. I can tell she put herself on private because me and Carter are still her only followers and she made her account hours ago. Her profile picture is still the grey icon you get when you start Instagram. But, Morgan has one picture. I scroll down the slightest bit until the only picture is revealed. It’s the picture of me kissing her cheek and her smiling adorably. I tap it and then double click it to show that I liked it. She posted it 10 minutes ago and put as the caption, “I’ll never stop loving you” I smile instantly.
"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" Carter laughs at me.
"Look at Morgan’s post," I say looking up at him. Carter’s holding a red gatorade bottle with his phone in his other hand. He unlocks his phone and I watch him tap Instagram.
Within the next two seconds he says, “Awww. So sweet!” I laugh at his reaction.
"Bro, just call her already. You’re obviously gonna get even weirder if you don’t," Carter huffs after a while of me just staring at my screen like an idiot.
"No, I already called her like a few minutes," I reply. Carter shrugs and then walks out of the room.
A few hours pass and it’s now 9:00pm. That means it’s already 11 in Virgina. I’m listening to “Why Try from Ariana’s new album, My Everything. At exactly 9:04 I get a text from Morgan. “Facetime?” Of course I reply right away. “Sure” Seconds later, the song stops and “Morgan My Love would like to FaceTime” shows up on my screen. I pull out my headphones. I then click accept right away. I can tell she was in her room. She had headphones in her ears. Her hair was in a long, messy braid that fell over her right shoulder. She was smiling.
"I already miss that smile," I say first. She smiles and then giggles a little. I miss that giggle too. I miss everything about her and we haven’t even been apart for that long. How will I survive 2 whole months?
"What are you doing?" she asks in a whisper. I assume that she’s trying to stay quiet so no one can her her like Dave and her mom. I know what that’s like. When I was with the foster family before the one I have now, they were abusive to me. I was distant friends with Carter because at the time, I was living in a small neighborhood in the busy streets of Philadelphia. Whenever we would facetime, I would have to be either outside where no one could hear me, or in my room with headphone and barely speak.
"Just talking to you and watching some TV. What are you doing?" I reply.
"Just sitting on my bed." I wonder how she’s doing with what we promised.
"Wrists," I demand kindly.She grunts and then holds her wrists up to the camera. I don’t see any fresh scars. I nod and smile.
"I’m so proud of you babe."
"Thanks. But. I don’t know how much I can go. You’re the whole reason why I stopped." I can see the tears building in her eyes. This makes me feel guilty for leaving. I knew I shouldn’t have left.
"I’ll come back then."
"No don’t. I’ll be okay," she says. I can tell she regretted saying that I was the reason she stopped. She wants me to stay here and make my fans happy. I hear footsteps in the background on Morgan’s side of the call. Her face shoots past the phone and then back.
"I have to go," she says frantically.
"Who was that?" I ask my whole body tensing up.
"Nothing. Bye Matt," Morgan says looking even more frightened.
"Morgan!" I start to yell. She looks down at the camera.
"I love you!" I try saying before I get one last glance at her frightened eyes until she disappears off my screen. It was too late. She didn’t hear me. Who was it? Who’s footsteps were they? What’s happening? Are they hurting Morgan now? I stand up with all these questions floating around in my head. I start to pace back and forth in front of the large TV. I run my hand through my hair multiple times. Morgan needs to stay strong. I need to know she’s okay. But I won’t ever know that until she talks to me.
Carter comes back into the room at 1:15 am. At that time, I’m sitting on the bed staring down at the floor. All of the thoughts flooding my mind. My phone is resting in my hand. I’m waiting for a text that will probably never come.
"What’s wrong?" Carter asks sitting next to me. I stay staring at the floor. Carter shakes me a little taking me out of my daze. I tell him what happened on facetime. The second I finish telling Carter, My phone vibrates in my hand. I jump a little before looking down to see who the text was from.
"I’m sorry about earlier. I’m fine." It was from Morgan. I let out a huge sigh of relief. I felt like I was holding that breath for hours because when I let out the sigh, my whole body untensed. I text back telling her that it’s okay and that she should get some sleep.
Receiving that text helped me sleep that night. Tomorrow is the first day of the two day event. I need to get some sleep so that I don’t disappoint my fans.
I wake up with just enough time to get ready and then get to the soundcheck in time. Carter’s laying on his bed watching TV, looking ready to go. I look over at him and he’s already staring at me. I look away. To hide the scars, I wear my red and blue Obey hoodie. It covers up most of my neck and my arms. I throw on a pair of khaki shorts to go with it. Lastly, I fix my hair and walk out of the bathroom.
"We should go," Carter says as he stands up and turns the TV off. I grab my room key, phone then slip them into my back pocket. Carter does the same following me out the door. We go down the elevator from the 5th floor, to the first floor.
We got down to the lobby and saw the rest of the guys waiting for us. We take the back way into the venue which was only two buildings down from where we were all staying.
All the guys were on the stage being goofy with the microphone while I sat on the edge of the stage scrolling through
"Bro you okay?" Nash says sitting next to me. I look over at him and simply nod giving a fake, no teeth smile. "You sure? How’s Morgan?" Nash’s questions are getting annoying now. Doesn’t he see I don’t want to talk?
"Uh, she’s good," I say trying not to yell at him.
"That’s good." Nash pats me on the back and then walks over to join the guys.
The meet and greet starts and I put on a fake smile. But once I meet the first fan, the smile turns real. The only thing that makes me happy, other than Morgan, is meeting my fans, not just my fans, my friends. I shouldn’t even call them my fans. They’re all more than that. They’re my friends, my supporters, my loves. Morgan is still in the front of my mind when I meet my them though. I even see a few that look like her.
One of the girls I meet jumps on me and I spin her around. Once I put her down, I can see my sleeve has rolled up exposing my scars. Feeling the blood rush to my cheeks, I pull my sleeves back down. I look around to see if anyone saw them. A few girls in the front of the line saw I’m pretty sure but the one girl who was standing in front of me definitely saw them. She gives me one more hug and then pulls the many bracelets on her right wrist up her arm to reveal almost as many scars as mine.
"You’re not alone Matt. We love you."
"That you." I smile at her and then turn around getting ready for the picture.
"Can you kiss me on the cheek?" she asks.
"Definitely babe," I reply kissing her on the cheek. She then walks slowly over to Carter at the next booth.
~A/N Hope you guys liked chapter 8! Please inbox me your feedback. Also please inbox me and tell me if you’re reading this fanfic cuz I feel like no one is lol. ily all<3